That one day the following individuals make a public statement, live on television, affirming their guilt in helping to reduce Oakland to its current state of disaster: Carroll Fife, Nikki Bas, Sheng Thao and Rebecca Kaplan.
Their confession will be as follows:
Dear people of Oakland, it’s taken us some time to understand the profound damage we four have caused our precious city. We were blinded by an ideology that was wrong from start. We meant well: to uplift all people by focusing on helping the most marginalized members of our community. We believed, and still do, that until these communities are lifted, all of us remain mired in the fires of inequality and hatred.
But we see now that our mistaken beliefs have brought Oakland to the brink of ruin. Our policies have caused businesses to flee. They have enabled crime to flourish. They have driven decent, law-abiding Oaklanders to leave our city forever. They have destroyed Oakland’s reputation across the country and the world. Although Oakland is at the geographic heart of the Bay Area, with more access to transit, including auto, shipping, rail, and air than any other Bay Area city, businesses do not want to move here because of our crime problems. Oakland ought to be a superlative West Coast city. Instead, it’s become what you see: a ruined husk. And it’s because of the policies we foisted on you.
We lied to you, Oaklanders, and we knew it. We conspired to make you believe that our progressive policies would be our salvation. Instead—and it’s painful to admit it—for at least five years we’ve known that our brand of wokeness would lead only to more pain for Oakland. And so we doubled down on our messaging, hoping that a miracle would save us. Unfortunately, there was no miracle. Our lies compounded and metastasized and brought Oakland to ruination. It took your Recall of Mayor Thao and Pamela Price to make us realize how out of step we were with history. But we did realize it, and so we stand before you to beg your forgiveness.
We ask only for mercy, in the understanding that our intentions were good. Now that we have been detained by the authorities, and await our court hearings, our collective fates are in your hands. You have the choice: between compassion and vengeance. If you imprison us or worse, it will not do a thing to restore Oakland to health, which is what we all want. It will only prolong the racial and ethnic divisions that have torn us apart. If, on the other hand, you accept our apology, you will spread grace and love across Oakland. We ask you to ponder deeply on this.
Sincerely, Nikki, Carroll, Sheng & Rebecca
* * * * *
Well, that was my dream. I woke up before it ended, so I don’t know what happened. Here’s my setup for the next dream: The four will be indicted for conspiracy to murder a city. They will be found guilty. Their sentences will be appropriate to the magnitude of the crime.
Steve Heimoff